A Ranchy Obsession

Since coming to San Antonio one year ago, I immediately began to realize the dependency Texans or southerners in general have on Ranch dressing.  Don't get me wrong, I love drenching my salads and veggies in ranch dressing, but, using ranch on anything besides veggies, with the exception of the occasional bucket of hot wings, was almost unheard of.

The more time I spend here, the more I learn about the immense possibilities of such a simple condiment.  Here are some of the outrageous non-veggie foods that I have seen Texans flood with Ranch dressing:

• pizza
• sandwiches
• cheese sticks
• fries
• chicken
• grilled cheese
• chips
• shrimp
• burgers
• Macaroni and cheese (???)
• "anything fried"

I would like to make it clear that while I am usually a healthy eater and conscious of the fat content in ranch dressing, I accept this southern norm (in moderation of course).  I will make an effort to bring this Texan tradition back my Midwestern friends, assuring them with the words of my roommate, Courtney, “You can put it on anything!”

Crayon vs. Crown

Since moving from Chicago, IL to Trinity University in San Antonio, TX, I've learned about many aspects of the southern lifestyle that I had never come across before. Unfortunately, most of these learning experiences are unexpected, awkward, and usually come from small misunderstandings, but nonetheless, learning experiences.


For example, when I made my roommate a pointed pink crown out of construction paper for her birthday, she put it on and said, "I look like a pink crown!" Confused, I asked her to repeat what she had just said. "It makes me look like a pink crown, you know, like crayola," she explained.It took a minute to set into place. Finally, I realized that she was trying to say "Crayon".

In the midwest, you see, crayon is pronounced: "CRAN"
In the south however, crayon is pronounced "CRAY-YON" or worse, "CROWN"

While I have come to accept the "cray-yon" pronunciation as acceptable, because it really is the phonetic pronunciation of the spelling, I continue to wince when Texans say "crown". For the sake of those preciously vibrant sticks of wax that made everyone's kindergarten days a rainbow of an experience, please, respect the crayons by not confusing them with crowns.